At A Moments Notice...

Rain, rain go away come again another day is exactly what I felt like singing this weekend. Not that I have anything against the rain, most of the time I find it quite sexy, its just with the trees so bare and the weather so cold the rain just seemed to dampen an already dreary New York. So, with my outdoor plans cancelled, and the over-exerted holidays behind me I decided to catch up on some much needed R&R. Bring on the videos!

While browsing the shelves at World of Videos this weekend I almost forgot why I abandoned my weekly trips to the theater as I snatched up flick after flick. That was until I made it home and popped them in. I used to be a movie buff, one of those kats who would scarcely miss an opportunity to see the latest offering my favorite actor, actress or director had cooked up. But after a string of bad—no make that horrific movies in the year of our Lord 2000 I scrapped the whole movie going experience all together. The way I looked at it, I had better ways to spend my hard earned money than on some over-hyped much to do about nothing bullshit. And besides, with the growing popularity of DVDs it only made sense to wait a month or two (sad, remember when it used to take years for films to make it to video) to see just how bad, bad could get. And though a part of me at times still finds himself interested in several films Hollywood has to offer I’ve realized a tantalizing clip is nothing more than the skillful work of a top notch editor paid to make the lamest shit look first-rate.

Breakin’ All The Rules. Can somebody please tell me why it seems all of the black films since the success of Love Jones and Soul Food seem to look, feel and taste the same? My God, watching this movie was like watching every other black movie that has been released in the last decade. Can we get some fresh stories? Some new blood? Or must I see Gabrielle Union and Morris Chesnut in every other African-American movie released? Not that I’m hatin’, I kind of like both of them, but a brother is just sayin’...

Jamie’s performance was lackluster at best, and though I wanted to blame the material entirely, some of the fault must fall on him for giving a less than believable performance. I’ve seen him act, and this was no acting. And what’s up with the wig in the final scene? Did anyone else catch this fuck up?

And would you believe the funniest part of this DVD was the newly colorized and completely restored Three Stooges short film “Hoi Polloi”? Hilarious I tell you, hilarious!

The Stepford Wives. You would think, with a cast as large and as popular as the one found in the Stepford Wives you would have an undeniable hit, but you don’t. At least not in my opinion, and right now that’s all that matters. It wasn’t funny, or scary or even interesting as much as it was weird. So weird I found myself wondering who in their right mind would commission such a movie to be made, twice?

Nicole Kidman was kooky. Bette Midler, way too contained. Matthew Broderick, snooze (I still can’t believe he’s married to Sarah Jessica Parker! What a dork. He hasn’t been cool since Ferris Bueller's Day off.) Glenn Close was crazy as usual and Christopher Walken, well let’s just say I was glad when they finally knocked his friggin’ head off.

And while I’m glad Hollywood is doing its part by including gay characters in modern films I can certainly do without the stereotypical gay persona. It's getting pretty lame.

Dodgeball. The funniest of the rentals was exactly what I needed to take the fog off an otherwise rained out weekend. Over-the-top at times but filled with enough genuine humor to keep me interested and laughing all the way through Dodgeball actually ended up being a lot of fun. But then I’ve come to expect a certain amount of laughs from Ben Stiller who has held my funny bone since Something About Mary. Though I’d never purchase it for my collection it is one of those movies I’m glad I got a chance to see, unlike the others.

Oh well, I guess you can’t win them all.